AdSense lacks common sense

In a sad ploy to generate pocket change I decided it would be a good idea to sign up for Google AdSense. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a program that injects little Google-sponsored ads onto web pages (and in this case, blogs).

They look like this:

The basic idea is that if someone sees the ad and decides to click on it, I get a small financial reward. Easy, right? Here's the problem. I don't know if I've wronged someone over at AdSense or their system thinks this blog is deviant. For whatever reason, my sponsored links are an amalgamation of bizarre, and sometimes disturbing, material. I present to you:

Exhibit 1- You are diseased

What?!? Seriously? Lump in side of neck? Not even a whole sentence? What the hell! Who's going to come strolling along, click on this blog, read some hilarious and poignant material, then see an ad for neck lumps and be inextricably drawn to click on it? No one! I have five friends. None of them have lumps on their necks, nor are they going to suddenly discover one and rely on my stupid blog to find a cure. Dammit!

Exhibit 2- Learn English

Man, this keeps getting better and better. On a blog...is an ad to learn English. Google must have assumed that visitors accidentally stumble onto this site, and what's worse, can't even understand the garbled mess they see on the screen. Even better, the ad is written IN ENGLISH. You're killing me, Google.

Exhibit 3- Toilets

Ok, this has gone too far. It's one thing to assume that my readers are diseased and illiterate, but I draw the line at assuming they don't have a healthy supply of toilet partition hardware. We are not animals.

I'm not certain what will appear under this post, but I hope it's as completely useless as the other ads have been. To celebrate the futility of my decision to include ads on this blog, please feel free to submit a list of PG-rated words or topics in the comments section that you'd like me to test out. If I pick yours, chances are it will result in some kind of story or poem starring- you. You'll be famous.