My weird dreams

I'm not sure why, but for the past week and a half or so I've been having some weird dreams. Now everyone has odd dreams every now and then, but this is particularly odd in my case for two reasons. First, I never remember my dreams, and these have been both clear and vivid. Second, they're f-ing weird. I mean really weird. Here's a rundown of what's been going on in my head:

Optimus Primate- This one is a favorite. Everyone loves Transformers. Everyone loves primates. I had a dream last week about two warring factions of robots, except they all looked like Optimus Prime and had gorilla heads, hands, and feet. Even better, the two factions looked exactly the same and couldn't tell each other apart, so they were constantly killing the wrong gang members.

They were totally more intimidating in my dream

Army Men- Remember in Toy Story when the Army Men came to life? I dreamed that I was a member of the infantry unit in the Army Men Army. I don't know why. I distinctly remember being extremely frustrated that my feet were stuck together, as I was forced to waddle and couldn't run anywhere. Although I didn't take part in any battles in my dream, I'm sure I was a badass.

Hero Shark- This one is an odd coincidence in light of the earlier water slide post. This dream takes place in flooded subway tunnels. There are schools of barracuda chasing after people stuck in the tunnels. I am a shark. I don't want to attack the people, but somehow I'm in the tunnels, hate barracuda, and want to do something about it. The rest of the dream is me eating barracuda and saving people. Pretty sweet.

Worst Monster Ever- This dream was from last night. Some of you might remember Starship Troopers, the movie with the futuristic soldiers protecting the world from alien bug swarms bent on eating everyone. This dream takes place in a similar scenario. I'm a soldier in the army and I'm on the front lines of an invasion. There's the expected running around and shooting, but oddly I never see the alien until the very end of my dream. And thank goodness. Please keep in mind that the entire dream to this point was extremely realistic and high-tech looking. The aliens literally looked like this:

I present to you, dear readers, the... Octomoose?

This is not my poorly-drawn description, this is exactly what they looked like. 2-D and everything. At this point I woke up, but I'm fairly certain that my character in the dream was thinking something along the lines of "WTF?!?" Yeah, me too.

So there you have it- a small insight into the mind of yours truly. I'm so very sorry for you.