Things that should never come out of a can

Like most of you, I will eat pretty much anything that comes from a can. I'm not sure if it's the highly durable container or delicate flavor of metal, but I'm glad that the can caught on. However, there are things I would never want to see come out of a can. Some are food, some are edible but not food, and others are not appropriate for cylindrical storage. Here are five:

1. Gary Busey- For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Busey, he is truly terrifying. Don't believe me? Just find yourself a copy of the short-lived "I'm with Busey" TV show, a homage to the man, myth, legend, and possible devil incarnate. This harbinger of doom has far too much coke-induced rambling to be restricted to the small confines of a can. It just isn't meant to be. Check him out in action and then tell me he should be in a can...I think not.
   
   
2. Eggs- I'm not sure what it is about the idea of eggs in a can that grosses me out. Maybe it's the thought of all of those little guys being forced to share space when they used to have their own protein based condos. Perhaps it's the sound pouring eggs out of a can would make. Or maybe it's because EGGS IN A CAN WOULD BE DISGUSTING.
   
   
3. Giraffes- There are so many reasons why giraffes should never come in cans. First off, giraffes are far too large to fit in them. Second, building a can large enough to accommodate a giraffe would sap valuable natural resources and engineering manpower. Clearly not an efficient use of time.
   
   
   
   Proof positive that this is a ludicrous combination
   
   
4. Magnets- After exhaustive research and numerous conversations with leaders in the scientific community, it was decided that magnets in a can would be far too dangerous an undertaking for mankind. Ever see movies where the premise is that creating a rip in the time-space continuum would cause irreparable damage to the universe? Yeah, that would happen. And the last thing we need is another Jean Claude Van Damme movie about it.
   
   
   
   He can't be stopped, so don't get him started
   
   
5. Anything starting with the letter "Q"- I dare you to find one thing. Just one. Q is officially the least supportive letter of the can packing movement.